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I had a very eventful weekend last week. What started out as a routine trip to the doctor’s office turned into “let’s get the crash cart out in case her heart doesn’t start back up again.”

On Saturday afternoon, my heart began palpitating and beating super fast. So, we went to Urgent Care. I endured four hours of unsuccessful vagal maneuvers. Vagal maneuvers, I learned, are simple procedures designed to restart the heart. Manevers may include your face being dunked in an ice bucket and blowing through a straw, etc. They mentioned the possibility of my having an Adenosine procedure done, that it could only be done at an ER, but I didn’t think much of it. When all proved ineffective, they finally sent me to the ER.

After six hours on IVs and a still rapidly beating heart, they announced they would give me a medicine called Adenosine. And I’m thinking, No problem. But it starts to feel serious when three nurses and a doctor soberly and quietly come into my room. As they began to expound, at length, about my condition and this new medical procedure, I vaguely hear, “Adenosine will stop your heart for about 3–7 seconds and it should restart again. But if your heart doesn’t restart again, we will have the crash cart standing by.” The doctor’s soliloquy continues.

“Hun? What?! Wait a minute! Did you just say that my heart is going to stop??…for 3–7 seconds??”

“Yes, we are telling you so that you don’t panic,” he calmly stated.

I called my husband in to pray over me. And so it was, a team of three pulled in a crash cart, and applied the CPR pads to my chest. I feel like I am in a movie as I watch the heart monitor beep-beep my irregular heartbeat. Each step was quickly choreographed and delegated because they would have to act fast. Who would administer the Adenosine? Who would hold my arm up so the medicine would race straight to my heart? Who would reach over and grab the crash cart in case it was need? As a dancer, I was slightly amused by their choreographic process; as a patient, I was slightly horrified. But when I remembered the Lord, that He has great plans for me, I felt the peace of God fill my heart. As they administered the Adenosine, they lifted my arm to ensure the medicine would go straight to my heart. And all I kept thinking was, Lord, my heart and soul belong to you. I believe that you will restart my heart again…but if not, I have every confidence that I will see your face soon.

And then…my heart stopped…I’m watching the monitor flatline, and my body felt heavy. I couldn’t hold my arm up anymore. I felt like I was on one of those insane roller coasters; that mid-ride make you question your sanity of why you thought getting on this thing was such a great idea in the first place. One of those rides that twist your core, where the centrifugal force makes you lose your breath for a second but right when you are about to panic, it releases again. So there I was, on the Adenosine roller coaster, feeling this intense pull of gravity as the blood stopped circulating in my extremities and I am literally watching the monitor as my heart stopped. At the moment I felt panic stir, my heart started again.

The doctors are pointing to the heart monitor and smiling as my heart rate reset and returned to normal. They are looking very confident now and remarking that “see, the medicine has restarted and reset your heart.”

But it isn’t Adenosine that restarts the heart, it’s the Lord. He is the only one who has the power to make your heart beat again. And I praise God that He restarted mine…that Jesus gave me a Heart Reset. That my life is in the Palm of His Hand. So, I praise God for His Sovereignty, for His care and loving-kindness towards me and my family. This I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that neither, death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:28). My confidence in Him is unshakeable, I hope yours is too.

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